Having Self-Confidence

Do you want more self-confidence?

Most of us do.

It makes sense. Our brains are wired to want to feel good and we use self-confidence as a gauge for what does and does not feel good.

We believe that having self-confidence will feel good.

We don’t like to feel discomfort or self-doubt.

But what is self-confidence really? Isn’t it just the absence of self-doubt? Self-doubt is simply the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.

We want more self-confidence when we feel insecure and we judge whether we feel confident by the absence of self-doubt.

Some of us spend a lot of time and energy wanting to find more self-confidence.

Many of us feel like imposters in our work and want to feel better about ourselves and in our abilities. We try everything we can think of to avoid feeling the discomfort of self-doubt.

But self-doubt is like any other emotion, it is created by our thoughts.

And feeling like an imposter isn’t really an emotion, it’s a thought.

When we desire to have more self-confidence, we assume that something is wrong with us, that other people feel more confident then we do, or that other people or situations make us feel insecure.

But they don’t.

And the best news ever is this—

Nothing is wrong with you. 

Confidence is created by your thoughts.

Do you want to learn how to feel more self-confident? I can show you how. Schedule a 15-minute mini-session with me to discuss how we can work together.

Your lack of self-confidence is about how you envision the future, whether you think you have the ability to succeed or fail in the future.

Lacking confidence is about how we anticipate we’ll feel if something doesn’t go as we planned.

When we try to avoid feeling discomfort, we have to limit and constrain ourselves. We have to avoid trying new things, we avoid anyone or anything we think might make us feel bad about ourselves.

The more you tell yourself “I lack self-confidence” the more you find in the world to avoid.

But you don’t have to feel this way…

It’s your thoughts that create your feelings.

 And you need to recognize that your brain is often wrong. Sometimes your brain has thoughts about problems when there are none.

And sometimes it tells you to be afraid of something that will benefit you.

In order to have the life you want, you have to be willing to trust yourself and take risks.

You have to be willing to feel discomfort.

The secret to self-confidence is not feeling comfortable all the time.

Self-confidence comes from feeling discomfort and doing it anyway.

We think we need to have self-confidence in order to succeed at something but it’s the other way around.

We need to take action and be okay with experiencing any emotion (sometimes it will feel like a success, sometimes failure) in order to build more self-confidence.

Do you want to learn how to find more self-confidence?

I can help you with this.

If you want to learn how, schedule a 15-minute mini-session with me to talk about it.

Don’t Miss a Thing!
Want to get the latest from me? Sign up for my email updates.
Hey I am Jamie

Author: Jamie Cavanaugh

Jamie Cavanaugh is a Certified Life Coach, Educator, Interaction Designer, and Writer.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *